Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
