We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
