Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
