how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
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You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
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I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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