How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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