After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
