haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
