We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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