The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
