You're completely useless in the revolution.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
