There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
did i just pee glitter
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
