I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
