the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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