Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
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He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
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This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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