I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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