Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
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If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
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Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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