I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
this beer tastes like vomit already
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
