Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
