well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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