Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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