Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
