Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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