Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
