I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize