This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
