I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
And the cops told us we were all naked.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
