if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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