would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
