we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize