His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Blow job season was short but glorious.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
