Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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