But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
