She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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