i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
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I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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