i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
