All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
what day is it and did you see me today?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
