Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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