whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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