dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
