i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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