So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
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