I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
