She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
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That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
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A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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