so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
