I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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