It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
her facebook's as public as her vagina
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
