so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
