ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
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