soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize