Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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