Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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