please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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