You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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