i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
