i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
