I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
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my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
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okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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