So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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