and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
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He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
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He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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